Essays
Every essay is read aloud by the author. Read it, or listen.
The Stoics and the Variable Inside the Judgment
They split the world into what is up to you and what is not. Simple to recite, and brutal the instant something you love is at stake.
Carl Jung and the Variable Inside the Shadow
He said what we won't face in ourselves we hand to others to carry. Easy to nod at, and brutal the instant you see your face on your enemy.
Thich Nhat Hanh and the Variable Beneath the Breath
He told us to hold our anger the way a mother holds a crying baby. Gentle to say, and staggering to do the moment a real fight starts.
Getting to Yes and the Variable Behind the Position
Fisher and Ury taught the world to look past the position to the interest. Two sisters splitting an orange down the middle show how easily we miss it.
Stephen Covey and the Variable Beneath the Habits
Covey told us to seek first to understand, then to be understood. It is the habit everyone nods at and almost no one holds when the room heats up.
Daniel Goleman's Missing Variable
Goleman gave the world a name for the moment reason drops offline. He stopped one step short of naming what trips the alarm.
Brené Brown and What the Armor Is Made Of
Brown spent two decades studying why we armor up against each other. The armor is heavy, it does not work, and nearly everyone is wearing some.
Carl Rogers and the Condition Underneath the Conditions
Rogers spent his career proving people change only inside a certain kind of warmth. The surprise is how little that warmth has to do with approval.
Chris Voss and the Variable He Almost Named
Voss talked people out of buildings for the FBI by making them feel heard before he asked for anything. It is the move almost everyone skips.
John Gottman's Missing Variable
Gottman could predict divorce from a few minutes of a couple fighting. The ones who lasted were not the couples who fought less.
What Kahneman Got Right About Fear: The Variable He Left Out
Kahneman mapped the two minds we think with, then admitted the humbling part: knowing your biases barely helps you beat them.
Marshall Rosenberg's Missing Variable
Rosenberg trained himself to hear every attack as a need in disguise. Learn to listen that way and an argument stops sounding like an argument.